Just Writing

  I originally wanted to write this blog in order to write my thoughts and ideas down. I have no direction in which I would like to take this blog. I don't just want to write about events unfolding in my life. I hope that one day I have a greater clarification and direction for this blog but until then I plan to just write. Whatever comes from it, is not really important to me, at this point.
  It is my lunch break, and today I skipped my usual lunch in the cafeteria with co-workers to hit up this park near my job. I'm sitting on a bench and the weather is in the mid 50s but it is very sunny so it feels great. I needed to get away today, to think. I consider myself a loner and introvert, although I know that for the most part its socially unacceptable to be this way. But every now and then I must indulge in being alone and just thinking. I have always been an over thinker. I want clarification about everything. I often can spend a while just thinking about a certain situation or event and wonder, why? I want answers and I can honestly say it gets frustrating at times. I envy my dad's attitude. He is very calm and doesn't do too much thinking. Its almost as if he just accepts life as it comes his way. This way of living, to me, doesn't make sense, but I can see the benefit of it. Thinking about things doesn't really help the situation. Alot of what happens to us in life is beyond our control and the best strategy is to just let it be and accept.
  The thing about me is I want to constantly better myself. I want to find balance in everything I do. I want to think and analyze situations until they make sense but I also want to know when its time to just let it be. I'm definitely a work in progress. I remember I use to wonder what is the meaning or purpose of life. I'm starting to think that its simply to continually work in bettering ourselves. I am definitely trying.