I wish I could completely understand you. I wish I knew exactly what you wanted from me. I wish I knew why you don't completely love me. I wish I knew exactly the reason, why, I am not enough for you because maybe then, I could somehow change myself to fullfill those needs. Maybe then I could fix, whatever it is, that is wrong with me. I know that it's probably impossible, but for you, it's worth a shot. So just answer me so I can get to work.
This seems a little pathetic, but it's exactly how I feel. Of course, I will never send this text to my wife. Someone once told me that, at this point, my pride should take over my heart. Its true and its the only thing that keeps from sending this or any other pleas, for her to love the way I want. I miss her. I started spending time with her again. Things seemed cool, but she said some things that were very weird to me. That I couldn't complain if she was talking to someone. I did find out that the man she use to state was her "best friend " spent valentine's with her at her job. I do have to mention that when she was telling me to move back in and that she would change she stated she didn't talk to him at all. I was highly disappointed. I just walked out, there's no point of fighting anymore. She did ask why I was leaving and I didn't say anything, but I asked her to just live life, the way she really wants to. I do wish it was with me, but I have to accept it. I am really starting to see the lesson. Life is trying to teach me to let go. To let her be happy even if it will hurt me. It's teaching me to be strong. I need to learn these lessons and like a good parent my life is showing me hard lessons. I'm actually not sad. I'm disappointed, but she will find happiness and I'm content with that right now. I say right now, because I know I still have to see her date, marry, and have other kids. At least right now I'm ready for that pain.
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